On The Gey

They have gone. And I kept here in this grey world, with cold feelings and with no-sense life. All the color I could see was in her. Hair and eyes always changing colors, her pretty smile and her sweet words. I never would find out her natural form.

Everyone had theirs problems and they tried to solve them alone and hide. But not she. She didn’t hide her sadness regardless she didn’t let her life stop for that. She kept her life on, with common colors and faces. But no matter how she was owner of every light color that I could see in my grey world.

She entered calmly and silently into my world and when I could realize it, she was owner not only of the colors but of everything in my life. I was totally dependent of her, since her smile while she was saying me good morning until the sad face she used to make when I said good night.

She could give up on me when I decide to stay the farthest from her that I could. She could, but she didn’t. I was afraid, I didn’t want to lose her, I didn’t want her to die like every person I loved. So I started to avoid her, never rude avoiding.

That didn’t seem to affect her, because she kept with her way always trying to make me smile, always being sweet and happy. And it was like that for months, until I find her crying.

She was in her room and I scarcely enter there but that day I wasn’t thinking very well, actually I wasn’t thinking at all. After many days without see her because of a mission, I just wanted to see her. I’ve missed her so much.

I knocked on the door but she didn’t answer, I pushed it slowly and there was she crying. At first I thought about go out and let she alone, but I didn’t. I walked in calmly, stopped in front of her and stayed there without saying a word.

She continued crying sadly during some minutes, but then she finally looked to me.

“Go out Remus.” she said “Please what are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to see you, but I think it is better leave you alone.” I said even that wasn’t even a single word in my mind.

She took my hands and got up, so I could see her face. The prettiest face that she has ever used, with a long black hair framing it and sad grey eyes right open and scared.


“Do you love me?” she asked me.

“Yes, I do.” answered seriously.

“Are you lying?” she asked but didn’t give time to answer. “Yes , you are. Leave me alone . Please.”

At the last word a tear fell down on her face. At first she didn’t have any reaction but then she passed in front of me and went out. I coudn’t do nothing, I simply stayed there just looking while she went away, with my world so grey as Tonks’ eyes…

After that Tonks was always on a mission and there was no more good morning smile or sweet dreams face. There was just me again, but this time it was the worst. The Tonks’ image, to know her natural form, it didn’t give a minute of peace.

The things kept that way during almost a year. A year that I just worked, I think everyone was working very much, but I was doing more then I could. I could do good contacts with other werewolves. Everything was more dangerous now, but it was ending, we knew that, regardless we didn’t know well how it would end. Everybody was afraid.

Excepting the Order meetings, I’ve never could talk with her again. That day, it was sunny outside the Black’s house, but inside, it was cold and dark like always. I was so tired that I decided to sleep until the meeting starts, but before I could get to the room I passed by Tonks. She was walking and trying hardly to dry some tear in her face. When she saw me, she didn’t mind with her crying face and asked me:

“Will we have a meeting now?”

“No, just after dinner” Since she heard what I said she kept walking to the stair “ Hey Tonks, Wait.!”

“Yes?”

“Do you want to talk?”

“No Remus, thank you.” She said without any angry this time and tried to walk again but I hold her arm.

“I want to talk, just a minute”

“As you want ” She turned totally to me “Go on, talk!”

“I don’t want to talk with this Tonks. I want the old one. I need the old one…”

She smile sadly and went downstairs. I couldn’t believe that I let her go again. And even that we were at the same house, I knew that it would be long until I could talk to her again… I went upstairs, the room I used to sleep was in the third floor. I laid down in the bed and slept all day long.

When I woke up it was still missing too much time for the meeting, I tried to sleep again, but it didn’t work at all, so I gave up and went downstairs, but in the middle of the way there was Tonks’ room.

So, there I was, opening the door carefully. She was there, sat in the bed crying like that day. When I walked in she looked to me and said almost whispering:

“Here I am. The fool Tonks you wanted.”

“I know. Just my Tonks would use this face. The real one.”

She hided her face with the hands and the room was consumed by a strange silence. I took her both hands and pull her closer to me.

“Do you love me?” I asked.

“No, I don’t.” She said without looking me and crying more.

“Yes, you do” When I finished to say I kissed her slowly and felt the salt taste of her tears.

“Say that you love me” She said after we finished the kiss with her head was still laid against my shoulder.

“You know I do”

“I want to hear”

“I love you” I said and she grinned.

A few months later the war really began. I saw dear people dying, people suffering, the death eater winning and then they falling down, I had to stand pain and sadness. Things that I’ve already seen and felt along my life.

Tonks stayed with me, by my side all the time… Her laugh kept me alive, in that time a laugh was something rare, and many times I thought that if Tonks couldn’t laugh anymore, everything would be over. So it is something I had promised myself: I would never let Tonks be sad. And it is what I am doing until now. We suffer together and together we’ve seen the war ending.

Today, after five years, I’m sitting here writing and watching Tonks while she is sleeping and breathing, with her dark hair free and tumbling along her bare shoulder, so beautiful. She is pregnant but it is just in the beginning, she continuous very thin and almost a no one realize that she is pregnant.

I’m am worried, I don’t know if our child will be a werewolf, but Tonks doesn’t worry about it, “He will be loved” she says. She is the person most free of prejudice that I have ever known. I care about this, I am studding very much to discovery anything about werewolf children.

I’m afraid but happy. it seems a flush of happiness. Tonks and I are aging together while our baby is growing in her womb. Everything is walking in the right way, the life, the feelings, the grey.





*****


N/A
Minha primeira fic em Ingçês, espero que gostem.
Por favor, comentem e me digam o que acharam!
A fic é baseada na música "Kiss from a rose" do Seal.
Beijinhos
Milinha

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